Hoping to be human someday!

Knowledge Of The Book

Friday, January 16th, 2009

I have been going through some Quraanic translations lately. Consider the following translations of Surah Al-Qalam, 1-6:

Ahmed Raza Khan: Mohammed Aqib Qadri:

Nuun* – by oath of the pen and by oath of what is written by it. (Alphabet of the Arabic language; Allah and to whomever He reveals, know their precise meanings.) You are not insane, by the munificence of your Lord. And indeed for you is an unlimited reward. And indeed you possess an exemplary character. So very soon, you will see and they too will realise – That who among you was insane.

Yusuf Ali:

Nun. By the Pen and the (Record) which (men) write,- Thou art not, by the Grace of thy Lord, mad or possessed. Nay, verily for thee is a Reward unfailing: And thou (standest) on an exalted standard of character. Soon wilt thou see, and they will see, – Which of you is afflicted with madness.

Pickthal:

Nun. By the pen and that which they write (therewith), Thou art not, for thy Lord’s favour unto thee, a madman. And lo! thine verily will be a reward unfailing. And lo! thou art of a tremendous nature. And thou wilt see and they will see Which of you is the demented.

Do you find a difference in translation?

Anyone who has studied the Arabic language can see that every word has multiple meanings. Hell, even in Urdu there are words with multiple meanings, not to mention English (try learning words for GRE, you’ll go mad!) I’m not a scholar on Arabic but I’ve seen and heard examples of such words. I’ll share one with you on an upcoming post: Rasool-e-Ummi.

So which of the above translations is correct? I mean, in which meaning did Allah reveal the Quraan?

Scholars can gather on one specific translation and declare it to be authentic. What if some scholars gather on one translation and some gather on another? Which is correct? Is the level of knowledge of these translators and scholars enough to decipher the words and intention of God?

Qayaas, as it is popularly known, or unified human opinion on a subject (”unified” might be wrong but “human opinion” isn’t), is spread widely in the Muslim world. Different problems are solved in this way by Muslims. Religion has become the thought of humans, rather than something from God.

And now we have Qayaas on the Quraan. People gather and say “Hey I think this verse means this!”

Notice the word think.

Surely when the Quraan wasn’t here, humans were thinking about idol worship (Laat, Manaat, Uzza, etc). And about Jesus and the Trinity. And Yahweh. And Rama, Krishna, Seeta, etc. They still are. Now that the Quraan is here, would Allah trust humans with thinking about the meaning of the Quraan?

And now that they have thought about it, you can see the result above.

Some will say “the Quraan says it’s an easy book to understand”. But we already see that above, don’t we? There are countless more examples that I’m too lazy to post.

In Surah-e-Namal, the tale of Suleiman and Bilquees is told in which Asif Bine Barkhia promises to bring the throne of Bilquees to Suleiman before he can bat his eyelids, just because he possesses a “little knowledge of the book”. Uh-oh, is the name Asif Bine Barkhia even in the Quraan? Whoops!

Doesn’t matter. What matters is the following verse (it’s actually not the whole verse, only the end part):

Qul Kafa Billahi Shaheedam Bayeni Wa Bayenakum Waman Indahu Ilm-ul-Kitab!

“(O’ Prophet) say: Enough for witness between me and you, is Allah and he who possesses the Knowledge of the Book.”

(Thunder: 43)

Oh-kaayy…..I know Allah and the Prophet. Someone know the third guy?

Asif Bine Barkhia can move a throne in a jiffy if he possesses some of the knowledge of the Book. And then there’s this ‘third guy’ who possesses knowledge of the whole Book. Imagine what he must be able to do. Who is he?

He must know what the Quraan means then. If the above translators could understand the Quraan, they would be moving thrones too, starting with Bush. Bring his desk, throw a shoe, send back. Repeat procedure. Make an infinite loop. America would’ve been in a load of crap…sorry, shoes by now.

So…who’s this guy I’m asking about? Does anyone know here please?

You must be wanting to ask me “Why not consult the Prophet himself?” Well, he must indeed know the knowledge in the Book as he got the Book. And he used it too. Shaq-qul-Qamar, anyone? But since he was an Ummi, I’d rather go for this third guy. Imagine having Knowledge of the Whole Book yet not being able to read and write. Must be pretty hard on the Prophet.

Don’t ask me whether this guy came to this planet or not. If he didn’t, why would Allah use his name as witness to the Holy Prophet’s prophethood in front of the non-believers?

It CANNOT be Gabriel, he couldn’t even go beyond the point of Sidra during the Prophet’s Mairaj. This guy has to be wayyy better!

But sadly, the question remains who? :(

The Origin of SAWJ

Saturday, December 27th, 2008

This may be the last of cheerful posts for a while as hopefully Muharram starts on Monday and then I’ll be running Zakir Naik’s ass all over the place, as promised to someone. :)

And I’ve quit smoking so be happy guys! :P

And be happy too that the Los Angeles Lakers brought the 19-game winning streak of the Boston Celtics to a halt on Christmas. Yippee-kaiyeay (find rest of the sentence at the end of any Die-Hard movie)! ;)

*****

I’ve always been one of those guys who wanted to be cool. At times, I would try and make cool things out of my name. One of them was summing up my initials to see what they formed, i.e., SAWJ.

But I wasn’t happy with it then. I mean, it does sound cheesy. :D

Khair, I was on a similar mission during my Intermediate years, trying to make something cool out of it. And then I discovered that SAWJ could be distorted to sound “savage”. ;)

So I made an email address as lethallysawj@hotmail.com and asked all my friends to pronounce it lethallysavage@hotmail.com. But friends can be real assholes and they did the exact opposite. They started teasing me by the name SAWJ.

As time passed, I actually started to like it. It was unique and it did give me a sense of closeness to my friends. And now I’ve become used to it. Almost all the dudes call me that now.

Now, I am…SAWJ!

But that don’t mean I don’t like my real and full names. Because they are my identity. My pride. Hell, if I tell you guys the real meaning of my first name, you will all call me a heretic and send a suicide bomber over. :P

SAWJ also acts as a cover for my real name, a box which protects the valuables.

*****

Cheesy post? Sorry! :)

*****

UPDATE: I forgot to write this. :D

My new jacket has been acting as my second skin these days. I wear it all the time, everyone’s praised it and it’s very cool! Cost me 3000 ruppees and my father was well-beyond angry. I saw a leather jacket at the shop too, made of sheep-skin and still smelling of sheep. It was 6000 ruppees! Had I bought that, my father would’ve made a jacket out of SAWJ-skin!

Ammi Aur Geo

Sunday, December 21st, 2008

I was pondering over my choice of topics to write:

  • The History of “SAWJ”
  • My Mom’s Wish To Become A Geo Anchor

I’ve decided to go along with the latter. This week is the last of my funny posts as next week, Muharram begins.

So it all started when my Mom came to me and asked me to get Geo’s number. Naturally, I asked why.

“I want to become an anchor on Geo.”

“Why?”

“I’ll earn money. I can be an anchor. Your father has given the go-ahead. Get me the number.”

“No way! You’re not going on Geo TV. I’m not going to let my dignity and honor be trampled this way.”

*****

Later, we were sitting with my father at the dining table.

امّی: اس سے کہیں، یہ مجھے جیو کا نمبر نہیں دے رہا۔

میں: جیو جا کے کرنا کیا ہے؟

امّی: بھئی پیسے ملیں گے، لوگوں کی نظروں میں آجائوں گی، مشھور ہو جائوں گی، سیاست میں آجائوں گی اور پھر وزیرِ اعظم بن جائوں گی۔

!بابا: اور پھر خودکش حملہ ہو جائے گا

My father has a killer sense of humor. He rarely jokes but they always hit bulls-eye!