Hoping to be human someday!

Another Tax, And Some Socrates…

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

A judge charged a man with a Rs 10,800 fine in a rape case.

The man asked, “Why Rs 10,800?”

The judge replied, “Rs 10,000 for rape and 8% Entertainment Tax by Zardari.”

******

In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?”

“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied. “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Test of Three.”

“Test of Three?”

“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my student let’s take a moment to test what you’re going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about It.”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him even though you’re not certain it’s true?”

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. “You may still pass though, because there is a third test – the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?”

The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains “why he never found out that his wife was regularly having Sex with his student Plato.”

I Wanna Kick MSN Astrology’s Ass!

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008

Your horoscope for December 23, 2008

You could feel things take off in your romantic life today, Ali. If you have been single for a while, you might find yourself engaged in a charming flirtation now. You could meet someone whose sense of humor is a match for your own! You’ll have fun bantering back and forth, sharing your clever thoughts about life. A nice spark of chemistry should be there, too, and affections could be flamed.

WTF?!

I’m trying to get over it here and…

Talk about the right horoscope at the wrong time!

*****

UPDATE: I just received this email from Astrocenter Special:

Dear Ali,

If you’ve ever had a Tarot reading, you know that such readings are a great store of ancient wisdom and insight to answer your questions and give you direction. If you’ve never tried a Tarot reading, there’s never been a better time than now! We’re offering you a special holiday deal – 40% off! – one of our bestselling readings, the Love Tarot!


Click here to get your Love Tarot for only $3!


Ask your pressing love questions, and the Love Tarot will show you the answers for only $3! Are you two destined to be together? Does she have a crush on you? Is he staying faithful? Reach a new understanding of your love life with the fun, fast, and popular Love Tarot!

But like a one-night stand, this holiday deal won’t last long. So if you’ve never tried a Tarot reading – or you already can attest to the Tarot’s power – get your Love Tarot today for only $3!

Try it today!
The Astrocenter Team

Finally when my mood was getting better, these assholes…

Justice to Muslims, and the Justice of Muslims

Sunday, September 21st, 2008

One day a man was traveling on his camel with his possessions and his slave. He stopped at a mosque and went inside to pray, leaving the slave to take care of the goods.

When he was gone, the slave climbed on the camel’s back. When the master returned, the slave declared himself as the master and the actual master as his slave. A quarrel ensued.

The matter was then taken to Ali Ibne Abu Talib (A.S.), cousin and son-in-law of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.W.). He was seated on the ground in a field with some of his friends and followers, and his slave Qambar.

Upon hearing the matter, Ali ordered Qambar to make a wall out of mud. He then told Qambar to make two head-sized holes in it. He gave his sword, Zulfiqar, to Qambar to unsheath and hold high above the wall.

Ali addressed the two men and ordered them to put their heads in the holes. They obliged. Ali then turned to Qambar and ordered:

“Behead the slave!”

Upon hearing this, the real slave quickly withdrew his head, got up and ran away screaming.

Ali turned to the remaining man and declared him the real master.

**************

In another event, two women were brought to Ali. They both claimed they were the mother of the same child.

Ali ordered the child to be brought to court. He then told to cut the child in two and hand a piece to each woman.

Upon hearing this, one woman denounced her claim and asked to give the child to the other woman.

Upon hearing this, Ali ordered the child to be given to the woman who had spoken, saying that a real mother would never allow her child to get hurt, even if it means staying away from him!

**************

Examples of Ali’s wisdom and generosity are here, here, here and here.

**************

This is the Ali about whom Umar remarked:

اگر علی نہ ہوتا تو عمر ہلاک ہو جاتا

If Ali had not been, Umar would have been killed!

**************

The 19th of Ramazan marks the day Ali was attacked by Abdur-Rehman Ibne Muljim (L.A.), a Kharjite (one of the Remnants from the battle of Naharwan), sent by Muawiyya (L.A.) Ibne Abu Sufyan (L.A.), the Umayyad (L.A.) daddy of the likes of Zakir Naik (L.A.), Israr Ahmed (L.A.), Javed Ghamdi (L.A.) and Amir Liaquat (L.A.).

Ali was leading the Fajr prayers in the mosque of Kufah when Ibne Muljim (L.A.) attacked him with his sword in the second Sajdah (prostration), bifurcating the top of his head from which blood began spurting. After the attack, Ali declared:

Fuzto Bi-Rab-bil Ka’aba!

meaning

By the God of the Ka’aba, Ali has become successful!

The sword that Ibne Muljim (L.A.) used was heavily poisoned and as soon as the medics examined the wound, they asked Ali(A.S.) to declare his will. (For more information on Ali’s Martyrdom, read this.)

**************

I’m talking about the cousin and son-in-law of the Prophet (S.A.W.W.) whom the Prophet raised in his own house from the age of three months and fed him in such a way that according to Ali:

He used to put the food in his mouth, soften it up with his tounge and then feed it to me like a bird feeds it’s chick i.e. put it directly in my mouth from his own!

This is the Ali whom the Prophet (S.A.W.W.) declared as his own brother after the migration to Madinah when he was forming brotherhoods between the Mahajirs and the Ansars.

This is the Ali about whom the Prophet also declared that “Wherever truth goes, Ali will follow and wherever Ali goes, truth will follow!”

Once, Ali was seated with the Prophet (S.A.W.W.). Abu Bakr and Ayesha were also present. Ayesha noted that her father kept his eyes fixed on Ali’s face.

She asked her father, “Why do you keep looking at Ali’s face?”

He replied, “Have you not heard the Prophet say that Allah sends his blessings on Ali’s face and to look at it is the worship of Allah?”

This is the Ali who has the honor and distinction of coming to and leaving this world in the houses of Allah: Born in the Holy Ka’aba itself and martyred in the mosque of Kufah!

**************

It is a shame to say that none of the channels yet have aired a program on Ali Ibne Abi Talib (A.S.) on the occasion of his martyrdom. Geo TV’s Aamir Liaquat-guided-and-produced anchor did a program in which he informed the viewers that it was the date of the death of the ruler Abdur Rahman Saalis. And who the heck is that?

Our media can go out of their way to investigate and inform about a historical nobody like Abdur Rahman Saalis but fail to even acknowledge the occasion of the attack on perhaps the most popular undisputed personality in the history of Islam, after the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.W.). Why is every information related to the Ahle Bayt (A.S.) of the Prophet (S.A.W.W.) hidden and suppressed by our media and scholars when it is present in coherence in the books of almost all the sects? What is there to be afraid of? Is this stubbornness, jealousy or plain defiance of the Prophet’s (S.A.W.W.) teachings and sayings?

One thing it is for sure, and that is shameless idiocy!

**************

Innal-laha As-alukum Alaihin Ajran Illal Mawaddata Fil Qurba!

“Say: I do not ask of you (followers) any return for it (teachings) but love for my near relatives.”

(Holy Quraan, 42:23)

The verse is popularly known as the Ayah-e-Mawaddah (Verse of Mawaddat or the Verse of Devotion)

The term “Al-Qurba” in this verse, based on the traditions narrated from the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.W.), embraces only “Ali, Fatimah, Hasan, and Husain and no one else”.

The tradition from Ibne Abbas has it that when the “mawaddat ul-qurba” verse was revealed, the Prophet (S.A.W.W.) was asked: “O messenger, who are your near relatives who should be loved?”

He stated: “Ali, Fatimah, and their sons!”

This tradition has been narrated by Muhib Tabari in “Zakhair al-`Uqba” 25/1; Ibn Hanbal in “Manaqib” 110; Mo’min Shabilenji “Nural-Absar” 101; and Zamakhshari in “Kashshaf” as annotation to the said verse.

In the “Tafsir al-Kabir”, Fakhr Razi has related the said narration from “Kashshaf” and has said that based on this verse, Ali, Fatimah, Hasan, and Husain should be revered and sanctified. He has also cited lines of verse from the Shafii’ Imam, Muhammad bin Idris Shafii’ in this regard. A line of it is as follows:

If love for the members of the Household of the Holy Prophet is heresy, then the world should stand witness that I am a heretic.