Hoping to be human someday!

Ammi Aur Geo

Sunday, December 21st, 2008

I was pondering over my choice of topics to write:

  • The History of “SAWJ”
  • My Mom’s Wish To Become A Geo Anchor

I’ve decided to go along with the latter. This week is the last of my funny posts as next week, Muharram begins.

So it all started when my Mom came to me and asked me to get Geo’s number. Naturally, I asked why.

“I want to become an anchor on Geo.”

“Why?”

“I’ll earn money. I can be an anchor. Your father has given the go-ahead. Get me the number.”

“No way! You’re not going on Geo TV. I’m not going to let my dignity and honor be trampled this way.”

*****

Later, we were sitting with my father at the dining table.

امّی: اس سے کہیں، یہ مجھے جیو کا نمبر نہیں دے رہا۔

میں: جیو جا کے کرنا کیا ہے؟

امّی: بھئی پیسے ملیں گے، لوگوں کی نظروں میں آجائوں گی، مشھور ہو جائوں گی، سیاست میں آجائوں گی اور پھر وزیرِ اعظم بن جائوں گی۔

!بابا: اور پھر خودکش حملہ ہو جائے گا

My father has a killer sense of humor. He rarely jokes but they always hit bulls-eye!


21.12.2008 Humorous, Me, Pakistan, Women 51 Comments

PPPP: Parveen Phenyl Pathan Post

Monday, December 1st, 2008

A couple of weeks ago,  my Mom was angry at the maasi, Parveen, for trying to sneak phenyl bottles away to her own house.

It started when Parveen came to ask my Mom for a new phenyl bottle and said that the previous one was empty. My Mom became suspicious and she checked out the place where the bottle in use was kept. And there it was, a brand new bottle filled to the top, in open view. Naturally, she became furious at Parveen for asking for a new bottle when there was already one present. A long phadda ensued during which my Mom verbally clobbered the maasi top, left, right and bottom and the maasi kept trying to fight back but to no avail. Verdict: Parveen was trying to sneak bottles away and was a bloody thief.

*****

Now, in light of the recent happenings in Karachi, and also having heard the tales of Pathans misbehaving with women and abducting whole buses full of them from Korangi in the wake of Benazir’s brilliant decision to wave at her supporters by appearing through the sunroof, her opinion about Pathans and Afghanis isn’t really a flattering one. Our house is located in a predominantly MQM area but an ANP (Pathan) stronghold is not far off.

She was talking to my phuppo on the phone today about the situation in Karachi.

During the conversation, she remarked: “If Pathans ever attack our home, I have two phenyl bottles ready. I’ll drink one and give the other one to my daughter to protect us from their misbehavior.”

You know me… :mrgreen:

“What if Parveen has snuck those bottles away?”

01.12.2008 Humorous, Me, Pakistan, Society, Women 67 Comments