Hoping to be human someday!

The Origin of SAWJ

Saturday, December 27th, 2008

This may be the last of cheerful posts for a while as hopefully Muharram starts on Monday and then I’ll be running Zakir Naik’s ass all over the place, as promised to someone. :)

And I’ve quit smoking so be happy guys! :P

And be happy too that the Los Angeles Lakers brought the 19-game winning streak of the Boston Celtics to a halt on Christmas. Yippee-kaiyeay (find rest of the sentence at the end of any Die-Hard movie)! ;)

*****

I’ve always been one of those guys who wanted to be cool. At times, I would try and make cool things out of my name. One of them was summing up my initials to see what they formed, i.e., SAWJ.

But I wasn’t happy with it then. I mean, it does sound cheesy. :D

Khair, I was on a similar mission during my Intermediate years, trying to make something cool out of it. And then I discovered that SAWJ could be distorted to sound “savage”. ;)

So I made an email address as lethallysawj@hotmail.com and asked all my friends to pronounce it lethallysavage@hotmail.com. But friends can be real assholes and they did the exact opposite. They started teasing me by the name SAWJ.

As time passed, I actually started to like it. It was unique and it did give me a sense of closeness to my friends. And now I’ve become used to it. Almost all the dudes call me that now.

Now, I am…SAWJ!

But that don’t mean I don’t like my real and full names. Because they are my identity. My pride. Hell, if I tell you guys the real meaning of my first name, you will all call me a heretic and send a suicide bomber over. :P

SAWJ also acts as a cover for my real name, a box which protects the valuables.

*****

Cheesy post? Sorry! :)

*****

UPDATE: I forgot to write this. :D

My new jacket has been acting as my second skin these days. I wear it all the time, everyone’s praised it and it’s very cool! Cost me 3000 ruppees and my father was well-beyond angry. I saw a leather jacket at the shop too, made of sheep-skin and still smelling of sheep. It was 6000 ruppees! Had I bought that, my father would’ve made a jacket out of SAWJ-skin!

A-Tag

Sunday, December 14th, 2008

Tagged by Lizzie and Siras. I hate you both! :P

(Copy-paste starts here!)

Rules:

  • IT’S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS!
  • TAG 10 PEOPLE INCLUDING THE ONE THAT SENT THIS TO YOU.
  • USE THE 1ST LETTER OF YOUR NAME TO ANSWER EACH OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS.
  • THEY HAVE TO BE REAL PLACES, NAMES,THINGS. NOTHING MADE UP!
  • TRY TO USE DIFFERENT ANSWERS IF THE PERSON WHO TAGGED YOU HAD THE SAME 1ST INITIAL.
  • YOU CAN’T USE YOUR NAME FOR THE BOY/GIRL NAME QUESTION.

(Copy-paste ends here!)

SCATTERGORIES:

1. What is your name: Ali.

2. A 4 Letter word: Ants.

3. A Boys Name: Abbas.

4. A Girls Name: Aaminah.

5. An Occupation: Archaeologist.

6. A Color: A…A…As…Af…Ar…Ad…(stumped)...Aaarange?

7. Something you wear: (What the heck starts with A?) A shirt?

8. A Beverage: Apple Sidra.

9. A Food: Achar Chicken!

10. Something found in the bathroom: Achar Chicken, well processed.

11. A place: Aligarh.

12. A Reason for being late: America kidnapped me.

13. Something you shout: A**hole!

I tag Asma, Karachiwali, Safiullah, Raza, Hira, Anas, Ammar, Absar, Siras and Lizzie.

I should’ve chosen my name as SAWJ, crap!!!

Brain Teasers

Friday, December 12th, 2008

You guys work on these brain teasers while I work on tweaking my blogs.

  1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
  2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
  3. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?
  4. This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.

PPPP: Parveen Phenyl Pathan Post

Monday, December 1st, 2008

A couple of weeks ago,  my Mom was angry at the maasi, Parveen, for trying to sneak phenyl bottles away to her own house.

It started when Parveen came to ask my Mom for a new phenyl bottle and said that the previous one was empty. My Mom became suspicious and she checked out the place where the bottle in use was kept. And there it was, a brand new bottle filled to the top, in open view. Naturally, she became furious at Parveen for asking for a new bottle when there was already one present. A long phadda ensued during which my Mom verbally clobbered the maasi top, left, right and bottom and the maasi kept trying to fight back but to no avail. Verdict: Parveen was trying to sneak bottles away and was a bloody thief.

*****

Now, in light of the recent happenings in Karachi, and also having heard the tales of Pathans misbehaving with women and abducting whole buses full of them from Korangi in the wake of Benazir’s brilliant decision to wave at her supporters by appearing through the sunroof, her opinion about Pathans and Afghanis isn’t really a flattering one. Our house is located in a predominantly MQM area but an ANP (Pathan) stronghold is not far off.

She was talking to my phuppo on the phone today about the situation in Karachi.

During the conversation, she remarked: “If Pathans ever attack our home, I have two phenyl bottles ready. I’ll drink one and give the other one to my daughter to protect us from their misbehavior.”

You know me… :mrgreen:

“What if Parveen has snuck those bottles away?”