...where my two conflicting personalities unite...

The Origin of SAWJ

Saturday, December 27th, 2008

This may be the last of cheerful posts for a while as hopefully Muharram starts on Monday and then I’ll be running Zakir Naik’s ass all over the place, as promised to someone. :)

And I’ve quit smoking so be happy guys! :P

And be happy too that the Los Angeles Lakers brought the 19-game winning streak of the Boston Celtics to a halt on Christmas. Yippee-kaiyeay (find rest of the sentence at the end of any Die-Hard movie)! ;)

*****

I’ve always been one of those guys who wanted to be cool. At times, I would try and make cool things out of my name. One of them was summing up my initials to see what they formed, i.e., SAWJ.

But I wasn’t happy with it then. I mean, it does sound cheesy. :D

Khair, I was on a similar mission during my Intermediate years, trying to make something cool out of it. And then I discovered that SAWJ could be distorted to sound “savage”. ;)

So I made an email address as lethallysawj@hotmail.com and asked all my friends to pronounce it lethallysavage@hotmail.com. But friends can be real assholes and they did the exact opposite. They started teasing me by the name SAWJ.

As time passed, I actually started to like it. It was unique and it did give me a sense of closeness to my friends. And now I’ve become used to it. Almost all the dudes call me that now.

Now, I am…SAWJ!

But that don’t mean I don’t like my real and full names. Because they are my identity. My pride. Hell, if I tell you guys the real meaning of my first name, you will all call me a heretic and send a suicide bomber over. :P

SAWJ also acts as a cover for my real name, a box which protects the valuables.

*****

Cheesy post? Sorry! :)

*****

UPDATE: I forgot to write this. :D

My new jacket has been acting as my second skin these days. I wear it all the time, everyone’s praised it and it’s very cool! Cost me 3000 ruppees and my father was well-beyond angry. I saw a leather jacket at the shop too, made of sheep-skin and still smelling of sheep. It was 6000 ruppees! Had I bought that, my father would’ve made a jacket out of SAWJ-skin!

I Wanna Kick MSN Astrology’s Ass!

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008

Your horoscope for December 23, 2008

You could feel things take off in your romantic life today, Ali. If you have been single for a while, you might find yourself engaged in a charming flirtation now. You could meet someone whose sense of humor is a match for your own! You’ll have fun bantering back and forth, sharing your clever thoughts about life. A nice spark of chemistry should be there, too, and affections could be flamed.

WTF?!

I’m trying to get over it here and…

Talk about the right horoscope at the wrong time!

*****

UPDATE: I just received this email from Astrocenter Special:

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Finally when my mood was getting better, these assholes…

Ammi Aur Geo

Sunday, December 21st, 2008

I was pondering over my choice of topics to write:

  • The History of “SAWJ”
  • My Mom’s Wish To Become A Geo Anchor

I’ve decided to go along with the latter. This week is the last of my funny posts as next week, Muharram begins.

So it all started when my Mom came to me and asked me to get Geo’s number. Naturally, I asked why.

“I want to become an anchor on Geo.”

“Why?”

“I’ll earn money. I can be an anchor. Your father has given the go-ahead. Get me the number.”

“No way! You’re not going on Geo TV. I’m not going to let my dignity and honor be trampled this way.”

*****

Later, we were sitting with my father at the dining table.

امّی: اس سے کہیں، یہ مجھے جیو کا نمبر نہیں دے رہا۔

میں: جیو جا کے کرنا کیا ہے؟

امّی: بھئی پیسے ملیں گے، لوگوں کی نظروں میں آجائوں گی، مشھور ہو جائوں گی، سیاست میں آجائوں گی اور پھر وزیرِ اعظم بن جائوں گی۔

!بابا: اور پھر خودکش حملہ ہو جائے گا

My father has a killer sense of humor. He rarely jokes but they always hit bulls-eye!


When A Nation’s Senses Die…

Saturday, November 29th, 2008

Funny or disturbing?


When A Nation's Sense Die, King, Vizier (Prime Minister) and People

Change

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

Last week, many Pakistanis celebrated the ‘change’ that the American people brought to their country by voting a black man to allegedly, the most powerful office in the world, the office of the President of the United States of America. For the Americans, they are happy because they elected the better man. But what about us? What about the change we brought upon ourselves, ten months ago? Should we be happy?

And what about the fact that the better man of America wants to use any and all means to ‘put an end to terrorism’, even if it means cross-border raids into Pakistan without permission? So far only innocent civilians have died from that. And our ten-month old ‘change’ refuses to defend us. Moreover, he wants to reduce Pakistan’s army to a glorified police force. Making comments like “Pakistan doesn’t need a big army!”. Who the bloody f**k is he to decide whether we need an army or not? Why not reduce the Indian army? Hell, they are the ones wreaking havoc in Kashmir!

It’s high-time Pakistanis knocked some sense into their damn heads. Or I’ll keep on praying for another ‘dictatorship’. And a brutal one this time!