In which situation would you say…
“Wish SAWJ/Senilius/Ali had been here…” ?
If you read this, you are tagged!
Question
Thursday, July 16th, 2009The Origin of SAWJ
Saturday, December 27th, 2008This may be the last of cheerful posts for a while as hopefully Muharram starts on Monday and then I’ll be running Zakir Naik’s ass all over the place, as promised to someone. 
And I’ve quit smoking so be happy guys! 
And be happy too that the Los Angeles Lakers brought the 19-game winning streak of the Boston Celtics to a halt on Christmas. Yippee-kaiyeay (find rest of the sentence at the end of any Die-Hard movie)! 
*****
I’ve always been one of those guys who wanted to be cool. At times, I would try and make cool things out of my name. One of them was summing up my initials to see what they formed, i.e., SAWJ.
But I wasn’t happy with it then. I mean, it does sound cheesy. 
Khair, I was on a similar mission during my Intermediate years, trying to make something cool out of it. And then I discovered that SAWJ could be distorted to sound “savage”.
So I made an email address as lethallysawj@hotmail.com and asked all my friends to pronounce it lethallysavage@hotmail.com. But friends can be real assholes and they did the exact opposite. They started teasing me by the name SAWJ.
As time passed, I actually started to like it. It was unique and it did give me a sense of closeness to my friends. And now I’ve become used to it. Almost all the dudes call me that now.
Now, I am…SAWJ!
But that don’t mean I don’t like my real and full names. Because they are my identity. My pride. Hell, if I tell you guys the real meaning of my first name, you will all call me a heretic and send a suicide bomber over.
SAWJ also acts as a cover for my real name, a box which protects the valuables.
*****
Cheesy post? Sorry!
*****
UPDATE: I forgot to write this.
My new jacket has been acting as my second skin these days. I wear it all the time, everyone’s praised it and it’s very cool! Cost me 3000 ruppees and my father was well-beyond angry. I saw a leather jacket at the shop too, made of sheep-skin and still smelling of sheep. It was 6000 ruppees! Had I bought that, my father would’ve made a jacket out of SAWJ-skin!
I…AM…SAWJ!
Thursday, December 25th, 2008She knows now. We’re fine.
Won’t be talking for a while, need to get my head straightened out.
Cigs help.
I asked my friend to come over last night to give me some company. Went out to distribute cards of his friend’s sister’s wedding, smoked four cigs in the span of an hour and then had a late night (after midnight) dinner at a local fast food restaurant. First full meal in days, had to force most of it down though.
Got some ice-cream for my sister and then went back home.
Put on Pineapple Express. It’s a funny movie but didn’t enjoy it much.
We both went to the roof and I smoked three consecutive Dunhill Lights for the first time in my life. Usually, one is more than enough to make me go tuuunnnnn and three are more than enough to make me puke my insides out. But nothing happened last night.
Felt better, came down, finished the movie. Friend went back home, I went to sleep after four.
Woke up at ten, usual habit, but forced myself to go to sleep again. Woke up at noon and here I am.
Feeling better now, hope to go out today too.
Yet there’s a thread running in the background. Have to kill it. Where’s the goddamn Task Manager?
This is not me. I never friggin pictured myself this way!
For God’s sake, I…AM…SAWJ!
Ammi Aur Geo
Sunday, December 21st, 2008I was pondering over my choice of topics to write:
- The History of “SAWJ”
- My Mom’s Wish To Become A Geo Anchor
I’ve decided to go along with the latter. This week is the last of my funny posts as next week, Muharram begins.
So it all started when my Mom came to me and asked me to get Geo’s number. Naturally, I asked why.
“I want to become an anchor on Geo.”
“Why?”
“I’ll earn money. I can be an anchor. Your father has given the go-ahead. Get me the number.”
“No way! You’re not going on Geo TV. I’m not going to let my dignity and honor be trampled this way.”
*****
Later, we were sitting with my father at the dining table.
امّی: اس سے کہیں، یہ مجھے جیو کا نمبر نہیں دے رہا۔
میں: جیو جا کے کرنا کیا ہے؟
امّی: بھئی پیسے ملیں گے، لوگوں کی نظروں میں آجائوں گی، مشھور ہو جائوں گی، سیاست میں آجائوں گی اور پھر وزیرِ اعظم بن جائوں گی۔
!بابا: اور پھر خودکش حملہ ہو جائے گا
My father has a killer sense of humor. He rarely jokes but they always hit bulls-eye!
Rand()
Thursday, December 18th, 2008I intended to go jogging this morning so I went to bed early last night, around 1 a.m. I knew I won’t wake up in the morning at six. But when KESC decides to shower it’s blessings on you, you can’t help it.
I turned off my alarm at 6 a.m. and went back to sleep. Some time later, my grandfather woke me up to tell me that the electricity had “gone back home” and asked me to start the generator. It was six-twenty. After doing so, I thought what the heck, let’s go jogging! So I spent half an hour in the bathroom in a vain attempt to empty myself. Then I left the house at seven-twenty.
The park I went to is located near Imam Bargah-e-Bab-ul-Ilm, Five Star Chowrangi, North Nazimabad and it’s too big for my jogging taste (four Nando’s Chowrangis to be exact, and count the outer circumference). Khair, I made a walking round first. Then I started to jog. Completed the first round and then I realized what a shitty habit smoking is. It kills your lungs. And your lungs kill you. When you jog.
After that it was walk, jog, walk, jog, walk, jog. Four rounds and that was too much for me. My throat was completely dry and it felt like the veins in my nose were about to burst. So I returned.
Later, all the muscles in my legs were taught and aching.
Got my bicycle repaired today too. Replaced the tires, tubes and painted the rims, handle and mudguards. Looks okay now, I think.
I spray-painted it along with another guy and my hands were silver and black when we finished. I swallowed some too, I think that’s why I’m coughing right now. Then I went for a ride…
One friggin small round, that’s it, one friggin small round and my legs were hurting again. I used to cycle at top-gear full speed, and today even one round at normal-gear fast speed was too much. Well I did manage and I went for more rounds later but the first one almost killed me.
Okay I like to exaggerate a little but my legs ARE going to kill me tomorrow. It’ll get back to normal soon. Hope someone wakes me up tomorrow morning too.
*****
And I’ve been listening to Metallica’s Suicide And Redemption from Death Magnetic for the past few days. It’s a killer!
Awesome, just bloody awesome! Get’s depressing in the middle (that’s what I’ve been feeling for the last few days). Then it picks up and Hammet just kills with the guitar.
*****
On another note, I really enjoyed posting the answer to the SAWJ quiz. Some people are out to kill me now!
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