Hoping to be human someday!

Mo’jza-e-Husain (A.S.)

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

On the 10th of Muharram, 1431 AH, 2009, more than 40 of my Azadar brothers lost their lives to a suicide bombing in the Ashurah procession to commemorate the martyrdom of Imam Husain (A.S.) and His companions (A.S.).

Here is a first hand account of my friend’s relative who was at the blast site:

I was standing on the foot path, across the road where the blast happened. When it did, I was knocked down and for five minutes I lost all my senses and lay there. When I got up, all was dark.

Now watch the footage below.

Can you see any of the Alam-bearers fall, right ahead of the blast site? None fell, no Ziarat was martyred. When people were knocked off their feet by the blast wave, why didn’t the Alam-bearers, holding Alams well above 15 feet in length, fall?

And the procession continued on with it’s journey with a stronger will.

This is what happens when you mess with Azadars. Our resolve to mourn the Martyrs of Karbala (A.S.) strengthens, even if it means certain death!

Chahay jitna bhi zulm ho jaaye, Maatam-e-Husain (A.S.) nahin rukay ga!

Kar lo jo karna hai…

Ayyam-e-Aza: Spirit Tortures And The Dark Night

Thursday, March 12th, 2009

Picking up from where I left, I returned home after the Shaam-e-Ghariban majlis. My parents were too worried about my back and making me feel like a Mummy-Daddy kid. They weren’t letting me pick up any weights in case my stitches came apart and I was like “What the hell, it’s no big deal!” They stopped at three different places to collect medical supplies: bandages, spirit, cotton, etc.

Back home, I had no idea what was in store for me for the next few days. My mother cleaned my back with spirit and dressed it up. I went to sleep.

The next morning I took a bath to wash the blood off my body. Before putting on my shirt, my mother came to dress my wounds again. And that’s when all hell broke lose.

I hate spirit! :mad:

She wet a cotton swab and literally squeezed it onto my wounds. She rubbed the rest on my back. And that’s when I yelled out in pain. Spirit will make normal skin burn and go dry, talk about open cuts. Then next ten days were sheer torture!

On the tenth, she cut off my stitches. Hurt a little but all was well. And that was the end of it.

Back to the second day after Ashurah, I went back to pack and collect my Azakhana. I was reappointed as the official family driver and assigned the task of driving my mother to different majalis at our relatives’ houses.

On the 22nd of Muharram, the majlis was at my youngest phuppo’s house and I went there. The biryani was awesome. One thing I must say about Biryani in Muharram is that it get’s distributed in majalis as tabarruk and I eat it three times a day, seven days a week but I never get bored of it. Nor does anyone else. And I absolutely love it in ‘langars’. Four guys get to eat from the same platter/tasla and no one can tell who ate how much. ;)

Fast forwarding, the annual majlis was held at my house on the 3rd of Safar, the date of martyrdom of Imam Husain’s (A.S.) four year old daughter Sakinah (S.A.). Went to pick the Zakira near NIPA, then had to get the Soazkhwans as well. Came back, took a bath and then got busy in the management work. Man, did the men eat! Aurton ke liye to chhora hi nahin. Okay, they did leave a lot but they ate more than their share. Maybe the food was too good. Don’t know, didn’t get to eat much and I wasn’t feeling hungry in those days.

Two days later, there was a gents majlis at my eldest phuppo’s house to be addressed by Allama Zameer Akhtar Naqvi. The biryani fell short of filling up all the tummies and we had to get more. After this majlis, I went to another of his at Imam Bargah-e-Chaharda Masumeen. Later on that night, I attended one more at Imam Bargah-e-Akhir-uz-Zaman. Can you believe that he addressed 11 majalis in a span of 30 hours without sleeping? That’s gotta be a world record!

The plan of our ‘khandan’ leaving for Syria materialized as we got our passports and visas. Bound to leave on the 16th of Safar, I got busy in the preparation for the annual majlis of Karavan-e-Murtaza to be held on the 22nd of Safar in my absence. Karavan-e-Murtaza is the name of the group of my batchmates and friends from Al-Murtaza School who organize and hold a majlis every year. We got posters and pamphlets published, arranged for tents and video makers, etc. I went out with my friends to put posters up on the walls near Imam Bargahs and on the route of the main juloos on the 20th of Safar. Had to rub glue on the walls with my hand so you can well imagine how dirty they got.

Then came the unfortunate day of 13th Safar. Went to a majlis at an acquaintance’s house, to be addressed by Zameer Akhtar Naqvi of course. Returned around seven. When I left again for the Ashara-e-Chehlum majalis at Jama-e-Sibtain, I got a message which said that ISO planned to attend Zameer Akhtar’s majlis that night. I quickly forwarded it to Allama Sahab’s close friends.

When I reached the Imam Bargah, my cousin was there with two friends who were armed. Inside, Allama Sahab’s nephews made me sit in the middle of the crowd, away from my usual place near the mimber and asked me to watch around. They had already gotten the news.

As soon as Allama Sahab took the mimber, a guy got up from the crowd and started shouting slogans. Around 40-50 people stood up to reply to them and they all started moving towards the mimber. I rushed towards the mimber to stand near Allama Sahab. His close friends and associates made a wall between the ISO guys and him. But we were only a handful as compared to them. At that time, we only thought they were there to disrupt the majlis. We had no idea they would attack.

Allama Sahab stood up on the mimber and at the same moment one of them threw a brick at him. It him in the ribs due to which he collapsed on the mimber. One guy went behind the mimber and started to climb it to attack Allama Sahab. They attacked us also and I got three punches on my right eye in the process.

But our side was not unarmed. The guy to whose house I went that day for the majlis had brought his guards with him. He fired shots in the air. My cousin’s friends all did so and the attacking crowd dispersed. Allama Sahab was taken inside the mosque and armed guards were placed at the door. He kept fainting time to time from the pain in his chest. We managed to catch a few guys and gave them the beating of their lifetimes. Meanwhile, the ISO guys called for backup and around five to six hundred of them gathered outside the main gate with loaded weapons.

Allama Furqan Haider Abidi and MQM MNA Haider Abbas Rizvi arrived on the scene and met with Zameer Akhtar. More of his fans arrived at the Imam Bargah.

Now the task at hand was to get Zameer Akhtar out of the Imam Bargah to his sister’s house directly across the street. But the ISO crowd was in between. The Rangers and Police just stood there watching, doing nothing.

Soon, some of his close friends picked him up and took him outside. ISO attacked him again but he remained safe although unconscious. Some of the people carrying him got hurt but they came back inside the Imam Bargah.

One of our tasks had been accomplished and Zameer Akhtar was safe. The second was to save ourselves.

Soon, Abbas Kumaili and Mirza Yousuf Husain arrived and they tried to negotiate with the ISO crowd. We knew it was a drama as they were the main orchestrators of the whole thing.

Around half past one in the night, we came out of the smaller gate besides the main one. My father made me walk quickly towards my uncle’s car and sit in it lest anyone recognize me and attack me. After we drove of, everyone breathed a sigh of relief that we were safe. We had women with us and that was the most worrisome thing.

I couldn’t sleep for a long time that night. I never expected myself to be in the midst of such a thing and I was cursing myself for not hitting back at the guy who punched me. But more so, I was worried about the safety of Zameer Akhtar and kept wondering if there would be more attacks in the future. I decided that if needed, I would stay behind from the Syria trip to help protect him.

The next day I learned that he was alright but had been admitted to a hospital so he could relax in a safe environment. I was relieved to hear that the majalis had been canceled from Jama-e-Sibtain and would be held privately.

I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere far away from our house just in case someone recongnized me from the previous night. As I said, Mummy-Daddy… :(

The night before I was to leave, I paid Zameer Akhtar a visit and he was good, chatting with his friends although he still had pain in his chest and a big bruise. I came back around 12:30 and did not sleep. Instead, I wrote down a quick blog post, took a bath and got ready. Left the house at four, flight was at 6:25 a.m.

Karachi looks beautiful from the sky at night, as Absar wrote in his post.

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I’ll write about the Syrian tour in the travel log soon, not now. The next post will continue from 24th Safar when I returned.

Ayyam-e-Aza: The First Ten Days

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

I am being forced to blog about this by a friend. Well not exactly forced, but she’s a pretty nice gal so I won’t turn down her ‘order’. :P

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What does the term Ayyam-e-Aza mean? ‘Ayyam’ stems from, and is the plural of, ‘Youm’ meaning ‘Day’ and ‘Aza’ means ‘Sorrow’. So meaning ‘Days of Sorrow’, it refers to the two months and eight days of mourning over Imam Husain’s (A.S.) martyrdom and the martyrdom and imprisonment of his family.

This post is a review of how I spent this years Ayyam-e-Aza.

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Upon sighting the moon of Muharram, I leave for my aunt’s house where I decorate my Azakhana with my cousins. An Azakhana is basically a collection of Alams [flag of Imam Husain's (A.S.) army] and other objects symbolising different aspects of the event of Karbala. My father got stuck at the naval academy in Bangladesh during the war of 1971 and my grandmother then made a ‘mannat’ that if my father returned safe and sound, she would decorate an Azakhana and hold majalis for the first ten days of Muharram every year. My father returned and then the process of decorating the Azakhana started. From my grandmother, it passed down to my father. I’m the next heir of this sacred practice. And it will continue in my lineage.

My AzakhanaMy Azakhana

I am a big Allama Dr. Syed Zameer Akhtar Naqvi fan, die-hard as people call it, and most of you know that by now. The reason being simple that he is the greatest scholar of his time and there is no one, absolutely no one, who can match his knowledge. And I’m not limiting him to the Shia sect. I’m talking about the whole goddamn world here.

As soon as Muharram starts, he always has three to four majalis to address everyday for the first ten days. This year I attended two everyday. One at Imam Bargah-e-Jama-e-Sibtain and the other at Imam Bargah-e-Chaharda Masumeen. Helped keep me busy, and I needed it.

Starting from the fourth of Muharram, there are Ziaraat everyday such as Alams, Taboots, Mehndi of Hazrat Qasim Ibne Hasan (A.S.), cradle of Hazrat Ali Asghar (A.S.), Zuljinnah, etc and I’m lucky to be among the few who decorate them and then carry them into the crowd.

Cradle of Hazrat Ali Asghar (A.S.)Cradle of Hazrat Ali Asghar (A.S.)

As usual, Allama Sahab’s majalis were awesome. And then the feeling of carrying the Ziarat into the rough crowd and pushing through thousands of swarming people is a joy in it’s own right. On the 7th of Muharram, I got a thumbtack in my foot and I was carrying a heavy Ziarat on my shoulders. It was a full minute before I managed to pull the damn thing out of my foot.

Allama Sahab’s horse, Sakhi Baadshah, whom we decorate into a Zuljinnah, gave me a kiss on the 9th and almost ate my finger in the process. The pain refused to subside for thirty minutes.

Sakhi Baadshah, the Shabeeh-e-ZuljinnahBaadshah

This year’s Taboot (shabeeh of the Janaza) of Imam Husain (A.S.) was a new one, and it was huge! More than five feet in height and 8 feet in length, it was carried around by six people, including yours truly. And by god, it was beautiful!

Taboot of Imam Husain (A.S.)Taboot of Imam Husain (A.S.)

Flower decoration on top of the Taboot of Imam Husain (A.S.)Flowers decorated on top of the Taboot

On  Shab-e-Ashur, it is a popular practice to visit different Imambargahs and to light candles and agarbattis (incense sticks) there. I visited a few, then came back around four in the morning.

In the morning, I woke up at around eight to ‘undecorate’ the Azakhana as the women in the house bade Imam Husain (A.S.) farewell with Alvidai nauhas. Alvida Alvida, Ae Husain, Alvida! Hard to keep your tears inside.

Ashurah, although always special, held even more meaning for me as I finally did Zanjeerzani (knives wala matam) this year. It was cool!

My TokasMy Tokas :P

Back from the procession (juloos) after matam, I spent the whole day lying on my tummy, sleeping which is a haraam practice on Ashurah. Around four, I left for the Asr-e-Ashur majlis which coincides with the time Imam Husain (A.S.) was “slaughtered” by Shimr (L.A.). After that majlis I came back but left again for the Shaam-e-Ghariban majlis at the same place.

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I’m breaking this post up into parts otherwise it’ll be too long.

Should I Tick The World Off?

Wednesday, January 14th, 2009

I’ve been facing a dilemma. I want to ask some questions but I’m apprehensive w.r.t. the consequences.

I’ve decided to cancel the third Zakir Naik post about Karbala and the Quraan when I saw the comments in my first Zakir Naik post [I still might do one on Yazeed(L.A.) and another on Muawiyah(L.A.)]. People do not understand the Quraan and still act like they were the ones it was revealed to. No offense, but our “Ummah” is immature to the core.

They refuse to question their beliefs, ignoring that the only thing capable of making them learn more is the question “Why?”

One of my elders, Syed Fayyaz Haider Zaidi, said to me:

“The beliefs of your parents are not religion!”

And when I pondered over it, I realized how true it was. You should too. I’ve questioned my beliefs before, and am happy to say that each “Why?” strengthens my faith in Allah and his Prophet (S.A.W.W.). Their have been times when I was baffled beyond measure but when I thought about those things I realized how great Allah was. I now stand proud of my God!

Some of these things, I’ve shared with you. Most, I haven’t. I don’t think people can take the burden and not go crazy. And when they go crazy, I become the heretic.

I must say, I didn’t think on my own. I was helped all along. Allah made me lucky that I was born at the right time to receive that help. By whom, some of you know. Some do not. But I don’t think anyone is interested, so I’m not naming that helper.

My concept of the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.W.) differs greatly from that of people I meet. To such an extent that I fear being declared a heretic by others. Because no one tries to understand how great he truly is! People are hell bent on declaring him a common man with mistakes, using the same Quraan that they do not understand, under the slogan “Quraan kaafi hai!”

Well it’s not, for your information. (There is a better answer but it’s not good for people with bloated egos and pea-sized brains who refuse to think. So just keep in mind the hadees: “I’m leaving behind with you two things…“)

This also brings me back to my dilemma. Should I pose those questions here or not? Should I be brave and not give a crap what the world thinks?

I’m currently neither in the emotional state nor the mood to bear the burden of long and stupid comments but there is a part of me that wants to tick the world off. To say things that no one wants to believe but are actually true.

I remember my old office, listening to Nauhas in Muharram with my Sunni colleagues. They had respect for the Prophet’s (S.A.W.W.) family and for that I respected them a lot. They actually used to ask me to put on certain Nauhas that they liked and I had sort of become a “Nauha Jockey”. But good times don’t last long, do they?

Today, I see people interested in the Gaza crisis, bashing Israel and all, yet they get thorns in their tongues when it comes to the massacre of the Prophet’s (S.A.W.W.) own family. They can’t bear the mention of what happened then. Well let me tell you something: the Gaza massacre is nothing compared to the Yazeedi brutality (read Muslim brutality) of that time. Read and think about Karbala, if not from a Muslim’s point of view then do it as a human. Otherwise all this cry over Gaza is sheer hypocrisy, nothing else. What’s happening in Gaza is happening to the whole population. Imagine if it all happened to just one family.

Done that?

Welcome to Karbala, 61 AH!

Back to my dilemma, should I transfer some of the burden to your brain? Are you ready for it? It won’t be easy, trust me on this and it will require a lot of thinking, and research if you want to investigate.

Hmmm?

And do remember that behind every smile, there are a thousand secret sorrows! ;)

(Man, I’m getting good at philosophy. Maybe I should quit trying to be a software engineer and become a philosopher or writer? Am I good enough?)

Anyone in the mood to listen to Nadeem Sarwar’s “Kya Muhammad Ka Pyara Nahin Hoon?” vintage version?

P.S. Sorry if this post disturbed you. Following posts may go several steps ahead.

The Origin of SAWJ

Saturday, December 27th, 2008

This may be the last of cheerful posts for a while as hopefully Muharram starts on Monday and then I’ll be running Zakir Naik’s ass all over the place, as promised to someone. :)

And I’ve quit smoking so be happy guys! :P

And be happy too that the Los Angeles Lakers brought the 19-game winning streak of the Boston Celtics to a halt on Christmas. Yippee-kaiyeay (find rest of the sentence at the end of any Die-Hard movie)! ;)

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I’ve always been one of those guys who wanted to be cool. At times, I would try and make cool things out of my name. One of them was summing up my initials to see what they formed, i.e., SAWJ.

But I wasn’t happy with it then. I mean, it does sound cheesy. :D

Khair, I was on a similar mission during my Intermediate years, trying to make something cool out of it. And then I discovered that SAWJ could be distorted to sound “savage”. ;)

So I made an email address as lethallysawj@hotmail.com and asked all my friends to pronounce it lethallysavage@hotmail.com. But friends can be real assholes and they did the exact opposite. They started teasing me by the name SAWJ.

As time passed, I actually started to like it. It was unique and it did give me a sense of closeness to my friends. And now I’ve become used to it. Almost all the dudes call me that now.

Now, I am…SAWJ!

But that don’t mean I don’t like my real and full names. Because they are my identity. My pride. Hell, if I tell you guys the real meaning of my first name, you will all call me a heretic and send a suicide bomber over. :P

SAWJ also acts as a cover for my real name, a box which protects the valuables.

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Cheesy post? Sorry! :)

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UPDATE: I forgot to write this. :D

My new jacket has been acting as my second skin these days. I wear it all the time, everyone’s praised it and it’s very cool! Cost me 3000 ruppees and my father was well-beyond angry. I saw a leather jacket at the shop too, made of sheep-skin and still smelling of sheep. It was 6000 ruppees! Had I bought that, my father would’ve made a jacket out of SAWJ-skin!