A couple had been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he woke up. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it made her sick. He always used to reply that he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor because she was worried that one day he would fart his guts out.
Years went by and he continued to rip them. Then one Thanksgiving morning, as she was preparing turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards of the turkey and a malicious thought came to her mind.
She took the bowl of turkey guts and went upstairs to where her husband was sound asleep. Genty pulling the bed covers back, she pulled the elastic waist-band of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts in them.
Some time later she heard her husband wake up with his usual trumpeting, followed by a blood-curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. She could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor in laughter, tears in her eyes. After years of torture, she reckoned she had gotten back at him pretty good.
Twenty minutes later, he came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked what the matter was.
He said, “Honey you were right. All these years you warned me and I didn’t listen to you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you always told me I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, with some vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.”
Moral of the story: Men are innocent, women are cruel!
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