Hoping to be human someday!

Geo News Caught Red-Handed!

Friday, July 31st, 2009

Just watch!

Teer Toota, Sher Aaya…Bhaingay Ke Saath

Monday, March 16th, 2009

In the last few days, we saw enough chaos throughout Pakistan (at least on Geo TV) to believe that the end of the PPP government was near. The bald lion with hair implants and no balls, was leading the long march towards the capital to crap on the Constipation Constitution Avenue, and ultimately on the country. The government set up many hurdles from Karachi to Islamabad and all over the country to try to keep the capital city clean (it’s far easier than the sanitary work required after any long march).

But the marchers were not to be stopped. The laxative of “foreign exchange” imported from India, and that locally manufactured in Raiwind, was forcing them to keep going. One guy had it so bad that he took his pants off on the way and Express News made live coverage of the incident, breaking the record “We Report First” streak of Geo News.


Since it began, the lawyers’ movement has been a cause of great instability in Pakistan. Yes you read that right, asshole! If it’s responsible for bringing democracy to Pakistan, Musharraf’s resignation, etc then it’s also responsible for the increase in terrorism, decline in economy, moral decline (see video above) and the Mumbai attacks. Okay, that’s outside Pakistan. How about the Marriott bombing?

Lawyers never questioning the motives of Nawaz Sharif in his stand for the independence of judiciary, when he is guilty of having it attacked in his last tenure as PM of Pakistan, makes me doubt the credibility of their own stand as well. Even the media forgot about it. So as I see it, all this support for Chauhdry comes from liars and hypocrites, and those fooled by them. As for Nawaz, we can all see that he’s using the lawyer’s movement to joyride into the PM house. Or the presidency. That is, if Zardari leaves. Speaking about Zardari, see this.

Throughout this comical episode, many promises were made.

Welcome back, Mr. Chauhdry, it’s time to stand up to your claims. So wipe that smile off your face and get to work. And get a toilet paper roll too because if you don’t live up to your talk, the real citizens of this country are coming to make you shit your pants.

Ammi Aur Geo

Sunday, December 21st, 2008

I was pondering over my choice of topics to write:

  • The History of “SAWJ”
  • My Mom’s Wish To Become A Geo Anchor

I’ve decided to go along with the latter. This week is the last of my funny posts as next week, Muharram begins.

So it all started when my Mom came to me and asked me to get Geo’s number. Naturally, I asked why.

“I want to become an anchor on Geo.”

“Why?”

“I’ll earn money. I can be an anchor. Your father has given the go-ahead. Get me the number.”

“No way! You’re not going on Geo TV. I’m not going to let my dignity and honor be trampled this way.”

*****

Later, we were sitting with my father at the dining table.

امّی: اس سے کہیں، یہ مجھے جیو کا نمبر نہیں دے رہا۔

میں: جیو جا کے کرنا کیا ہے؟

امّی: بھئی پیسے ملیں گے، لوگوں کی نظروں میں آجائوں گی، مشھور ہو جائوں گی، سیاست میں آجائوں گی اور پھر وزیرِ اعظم بن جائوں گی۔

!بابا: اور پھر خودکش حملہ ہو جائے گا

My father has a killer sense of humor. He rarely jokes but they always hit bulls-eye!


Temporary Peace

Monday, November 17th, 2008

I just woke up to hear that Geo News had been blocked today across Karachi, Hyderabad and various areas of Sindh.

I heard that it was done by cable operators. Well, you can’t really blame them, people like to have a little peace once in a while. And it also coincides with the date Geo was banned on last year. Perhaps the cable operators were celebrating the anniversary of the longer, although temporary, peace of mind they got a year ago!

Or maybe it was a bamboo from the government. Maybe, they decided to relieve their own anger on getting bamboos from all countries over financial aid, even Friends of Pakistan who just declared that they are not here for monetary aid but to support the damn Bhuttocracy in Pakistan.

Right now, Geo is having a smashing time showing how poor little Geo channels were banned by bad bad Mushy. Way to go Mushy, do put this on your resume to let people know you did some Geo butt-kicking in your last days. If we ignore your other acheivements, this is the single greatest one that can get you a Nobel peace prize, or if it exists, a Nobel ass-kicking prize! :D