“Never make a promise when you’re happy and never make a decision when you’re angry!”
Ali (A.S.)
Apology
Monday, December 29th, 2008The following few posts on this blog will be on the controversial statements by Mr. Zakir Naik regarding the event of Karbala in 61 AH. I understand that these posts may hurt the feelings of his fans and others also may not like them. Some of you might be angry and hate me forever but my only motive through these posts is to spread truth and defeat falsehood.
You have all been awesome people and I don’t want to make you feel bad. If I hurt you, I’m sorry. That is seriously not my intention. But I have to face the Prophet (S.A.W.W.) someday. Could be anytime so I don’t want to say that I didn’t try or didn’t mean to.
Just don’t believe without proof.
The Origin of SAWJ
Saturday, December 27th, 2008This may be the last of cheerful posts for a while as hopefully Muharram starts on Monday and then I’ll be running Zakir Naik’s ass all over the place, as promised to someone. 
And I’ve quit smoking so be happy guys! 
And be happy too that the Los Angeles Lakers brought the 19-game winning streak of the Boston Celtics to a halt on Christmas. Yippee-kaiyeay (find rest of the sentence at the end of any Die-Hard movie)! 
*****
I’ve always been one of those guys who wanted to be cool. At times, I would try and make cool things out of my name. One of them was summing up my initials to see what they formed, i.e., SAWJ.
But I wasn’t happy with it then. I mean, it does sound cheesy. 
Khair, I was on a similar mission during my Intermediate years, trying to make something cool out of it. And then I discovered that SAWJ could be distorted to sound “savage”.
So I made an email address as lethallysawj@hotmail.com and asked all my friends to pronounce it lethallysavage@hotmail.com. But friends can be real assholes and they did the exact opposite. They started teasing me by the name SAWJ.
As time passed, I actually started to like it. It was unique and it did give me a sense of closeness to my friends. And now I’ve become used to it. Almost all the dudes call me that now.
Now, I am…SAWJ!
But that don’t mean I don’t like my real and full names. Because they are my identity. My pride. Hell, if I tell you guys the real meaning of my first name, you will all call me a heretic and send a suicide bomber over.
SAWJ also acts as a cover for my real name, a box which protects the valuables.
*****
Cheesy post? Sorry!
*****
UPDATE: I forgot to write this.
My new jacket has been acting as my second skin these days. I wear it all the time, everyone’s praised it and it’s very cool! Cost me 3000 ruppees and my father was well-beyond angry. I saw a leather jacket at the shop too, made of sheep-skin and still smelling of sheep. It was 6000 ruppees! Had I bought that, my father would’ve made a jacket out of SAWJ-skin!
PPPP: Parveen Phenyl Pathan Post
Monday, December 1st, 2008A couple of weeks ago, my Mom was angry at the maasi, Parveen, for trying to sneak phenyl bottles away to her own house.
It started when Parveen came to ask my Mom for a new phenyl bottle and said that the previous one was empty. My Mom became suspicious and she checked out the place where the bottle in use was kept. And there it was, a brand new bottle filled to the top, in open view. Naturally, she became furious at Parveen for asking for a new bottle when there was already one present. A long phadda ensued during which my Mom verbally clobbered the maasi top, left, right and bottom and the maasi kept trying to fight back but to no avail. Verdict: Parveen was trying to sneak bottles away and was a bloody thief.
*****
Now, in light of the recent happenings in Karachi, and also having heard the tales of Pathans misbehaving with women and abducting whole buses full of them from Korangi in the wake of Benazir’s brilliant decision to wave at her supporters by appearing through the sunroof, her opinion about Pathans and Afghanis isn’t really a flattering one. Our house is located in a predominantly MQM area but an ANP (Pathan) stronghold is not far off.
She was talking to my phuppo on the phone today about the situation in Karachi.
During the conversation, she remarked: “If Pathans ever attack our home, I have two phenyl bottles ready. I’ll drink one and give the other one to my daughter to protect us from their misbehavior.”
You know me… 
“What if Parveen has snuck those bottles away?”
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