Hoping to be human someday!

One Big Happy Cat Loving Family

Saturday, October 31st, 2009

Take two kittens who are no more than a month old and refuse to eat anything but milk.

Take a grandfather who seriously hates everything feline because he doesn’t like his news to be remixed with meows from outdoors.

Take a father who doesn’t like cats because they rip the metallic door nets with their claws.

Take a mother who refuses to spend on milk and other stuff for cats because she wants to save money.

Take a sister who doesn’t give a damn and all she does is say “Awww…” when she sees the kittens.

Take an asshole servant who likes to manhandle them and then scare the shit outta me by trying to step on them.

And then there’s me, animal-fan, wanting a pet but having no other choice than a cat as they are small, easy to manage and need no attention because they sleep away two thirds of their lives.

One big happy cat-loving family. FML!

Taking care of kittens isn’t easy. Hob had his left eye stuck close due to eye gluck and I had to keep washing it with water to loosen it up. Then one day, it opened a little and a lot of liquid came out. I was horrified that I had poked his eye or something but that idiot kept running around with his brother instead of writhing in pain. False alarm!

Then there was this tick stuck to his lip below the same eye. I used to think it was some dirt or a dead insect. My mom asked me to pull it out and it turned out to be a live bloody tick. I was pissed. Crushed it with a broken stapler right there. Nobody messes with my pets, nobody!

Then there comes the feeding part. With a bottle, you dumbass!

You can watch it in one of the videos below. Now, I was feeding Hob and noticed something poking out of his ass. On closer inspection, it turned out to be…potty. That idiot was pooping while he was eating…on me!

On top of this, Mr. Nob has a habit of holding the bottle with his paws while drinking. And he don’t give a shit if it’s my finger he’s got his nails clamped into.

Then there’s the chewing part. They don’t drink like real nice gentlemen, they have to frikkin chew on the goddamn bottle. I have to get them to be really hungry before feeding them so they don’t feel like wasting time on chewing.

Plus, Mr. Hob likes to suck Nob’s leg while sleeping!

And now, they both have eye infections. FML again!

You can watch the videos now. :P

I Don’t Need To Be…

Sunday, September 6th, 2009

Wish I was too dead to cry,
the self-affliction fades,
stones to throw at my creator,
Masochist to which I cater.

Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason
My flaws are open season
For this I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying

Wish I died instead of lived
The zombie hides my face
Shelf forgotten with its memories
Diaries left with cryptic entries

You don’t need to bother
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on I won’t let go ‘til it bleeds…

Bother – Corey Taylor

Drown The Pain…

Saturday, August 29th, 2009

You get eaten from inside by it.

People eat you from outside because of it.

It’s an all-round feast.

So what do you do?

You keep on smoking, because that’s the only thing that drowns the pain…till you die.

5

Wednesday, August 19th, 2009

Saira is responsible for this!

I Rule, You Rule, We Rule
The idea is, to list five items in each category and not necessarily in order of liking. You can always add or subtract categories according to your will. Then tag five lovely people to be the next ones to take this quiz.

Favorite Words:

  1. Salay
  2. Alaaaaattttt
  3. Kaminay
  4. Bhains ki dum
  5. @#$%&&@#$

Favorite Characters (Fiction):

  1. Senilius
  2. Wolverine
  3. Blade
  4. People picked up by Mushy’s agencies
  5. Black Adder(s)

Words That Must Be Banned:

  1. Sweet
  2. Cute
  3. Democracy
  4. Ummah
  5. Education

Favorite One-liners:

  1. Live like Ali, die like Husain!
  2. When this world favors somebody, it lends him the attributes and surpassing merits of others and when it turns it’s face away from him, it snatches away even his own excellence and fame. – Hazrat Ali (A.S.)
  3. I hate you!!! (with me on the wrong end ;) )
  4. Bachi alert, 11 o clock!
  5. Pakistan ka Khuda Hafiz!
  6. Shia kaafir hain!

Favorite Books:

  1. The Fountainhead
  2. The Rainmaker
  3. Kane & Abel
  4. White Fang
  5. Call Of The Wild

I tag everyone!

Tum Karo To Chamatkaar… 2

Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

Almost one week later, things are no brighter.

Apparently on Monday, Mr. Senior Manager of Forde…err…For…uh…whatever, decided to complement Mr. Manager’s terrorizing effect on my sister by dropping in unannounced and asking her why she was late. Which in turn led to me being the target of frustration of the whole family, as always.


On Tuesday, she announced that her new leaving time would be 8:15 am, not 8:45 am. When my mom tried to wake me up at 7 am, I decided, in my sleep, to go to office by myself in hopes that the car would be back by 9 am. Ain’t the first time I was wrong.

As expected, both her Manager and Senior Manager don’t mind twenty minutes of make-up and other uselessly wasteful stuff. I woke up at eight, only to find her in the bathroom. Later on, when I was in the bathroom, she announced that she would leave after eight-thirty as one liability on her had been killed by my selfless decision to go by myself.

I got ready around 9:45 am, and my grandfather dropped me off. I was more than late but I could afford it as my bosses were busy with their exhibit at the ITConnect Expo.

As my luck has had it multiple times, another was no surprise: Mr. Senior Manager failed to show up. He postponed his visit by one day to…yes….today. The whole world wants to see me miserable.


My sister left this morning, again at “8:15 am”. And I being the smartest and most agile guy in the world, got ready at ten. Thinking that everything was going fine, I got out of the shower only to be verbally clobbered by my mom with a lecture on punctuality.

Got into a fight with her and after watching all my counterattacks being gunned down by her ultrasonic comebacks, I resorted to the last tactic in my arsenal: self-annihilation!

Well, not exactly. You wouldn’t call “refusing to eat breakfast” that.

This tactic worked, until she decided to use her last one as well: Call Daddy!

I fought valiantly, like a brave soldier to the last drop of my willpower and resisted the temptation of omelette and toast but her last attack made me shit my pants.

You won the battle mom, but you ain’t winnin’ the war: Daddy ain’t always home!

Now I’m sitting in office, feeling luckier than ever after being informed that Mr. Boss was inquiring into our arrival timings in the morning before leaving for the exhibit.

Someone kill me please!




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