When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. – David Bissonette
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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together. – Sacha Guitry
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By all means marry… If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. - Socrates
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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. – Anonymous
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The great question…. which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want? - Dumas
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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud
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“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” - Anonymous
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“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” – Sam Kinison
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“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.” - James Holt McGavra
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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
- Whenever you’re wrong, admit it
- Whenever you’re right, shut up.
- Patrick Murra
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The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once… – Nash
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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Anonymous
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. – Henny Youngman
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. – Rodney Dangerfield
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A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”.
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
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First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive..”
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Credit goes to my uncle for sending these! 
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