Hoping to be human someday!

SQL Stored Procedures for Marriage

Monday, May 19th, 2008

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
BrideGroom Male (25),
Bride Female(20) AS

BEGIN

SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides WHERE FatherInLaw = ‘Millionaire’ AND Count(Car) > 20 AND HouseStatus =’ThreeStoreyed’ AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH, BE, Degree, MCA, MiBA) AND Having Brothers= Null AND Sisters =Null

SELECT Gold, Cash, Car, BankBalance FROM FatherInLaw

UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal

UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherInLawGold

INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES (’BMW’)

END

GO

Find the errors if possible………..

19.05.2008 Computers/Technology, Humorous, Internet, Programming, Web Development 3 Comments

Software Engineering Proverbs

Friday, March 21st, 2008
  • KISS – “Keep it simple, stupid.” – Don’t use fancy features when simple ones suffice.
  • RTFM – “Read the fascinating manual.” – Most complaints from the compiler can be solved by reading the book. Logical errors are something else.
  • Make your documentation short but sweet. – Always document your variable declarations, and tell what each subprogram does.
  • Every subprogram should do something and hide something – If you cannot concisely explain what your subprogram does, it shouldn’t exist.
  • Program defensively – Add the debugging statements and routines at the beginning, because you know you are going to need them later.
  • A good program is a pretty program. – Remember that you will spend more time reading your programs than others will.
  • A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. (Einstein)
  • Wexelblat’s Scheduling Algorithm – Choose two:
    • Good
    • Fast
    • Cheap
  • The significant problems we face cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them. (Einstein)
  • One test is worth a thousand opinions.
  • If you think good architecture is expensive, try bad architecture. (Brian Foote and Joseph Yoder)
  • You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.[Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936)]

21.03.2008 Humorous, Programming, Science 6 Comments

My Matrix Program

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

Sometime around four months ago, I wrote a program in Java that takes two predefined 4 x 4 matrices, multiplies them and displays the result in matrix form. It took me more than two hours to figure out how to do it and another one to code it. It had more than four nested ‘for’ loops to accomplish the task. It was something I considered my “hallmark achievement”!

For the past week I had been thinking of posting it on my blog so I could have something here to depict that I am a coder/developer, however bad. I searched for it on my computer. Wasn’t there. I looked into my USB hard drive. Wasn’t there either. I came to my office and searched for it on my network folders and drives. It wasn’t there either. After searching the hard drive of every computer, I learned that many of them had been formatted and their operating systems reinstalled.

Now I am sitting here disappointed, with nothing to do, no jokes to crack, no smile on my face, after losing the best program I ever wrote (in Java) somewhere into the depths of the ocean full of USBs, network folders and formatted hard drives. May God help me in this hour of depression and sorrow! You can post your condolences as comments.

31.01.2008 Programming 7 Comments