Mom: ” I have decided that you will be married next year so if you like any girl, let me know by the end of this year. I have talked to your father and he has agreed.”
Preferred Response:
Me: “WHAT THE HELL?“
Actual Response:
Me: “No way! I ain’t getting married, not until I’m 28 at least!”
Mom: “Bakwaas band karo! You keep running after girls and yet you don’t wanna get married. Typical Gemini nature!” [This one is for you Absar! ]
Me: “So? I don’t wanna lose my freedom. If I get married next year then this year I’m having halwa-puri for breakfast and steak for dinner everyday!”
Mom: “Fuzool baatein na karo. Insaan ban jao ge tum shaadi ke baad, nikammay!”
Me: “Kar hi na loon main kaheen shaadi!”
Mom: “Shaadi to tumharay baap ne bhi ki thi!”
Me: “Un ki ghalti main kyun repeat karoon?”
Mom: “Aisa thappar paray ga seedhay ho jao ge!”
Me: “Thappar tab paray ga jab haath moon ki height tak pohanch paaye ga!”
Hob is not big enough to know his brother’s gone but he definitely understands something is very wrong. He had been quiet for the past few days when Nob was ill, and now he keeps yelling out for him when he’s no more.
Take two kittens who are no more than a month old and refuse to eat anything but milk.
Take a grandfather who seriously hates everything feline because he doesn’t like his news to be remixed with meows from outdoors.
Take a father who doesn’t like cats because they rip the metallic door nets with their claws.
Take a mother who refuses to spend on milk and other stuff for cats because she wants to save money.
Take a sister who doesn’t give a damn and all she does is say “Awww…” when she sees the kittens.
Take an asshole servant who likes to manhandle them and then scare the shit outta me by trying to step on them.
And then there’s me, animal-fan, wanting a pet but having no other choice than a cat as they are small, easy to manage and need no attention because they sleep away two thirds of their lives.
One big happy cat-loving family. FML!
Taking care of kittens isn’t easy. Hob had his left eye stuck close due to eye gluck and I had to keep washing it with water to loosen it up. Then one day, it opened a little and a lot of liquid came out. I was horrified that I had poked his eye or something but that idiot kept running around with his brother instead of writhing in pain. False alarm!
Then there was this tick stuck to his lip below the same eye. I used to think it was some dirt or a dead insect. My mom asked me to pull it out and it turned out to be a live bloody tick. I was pissed. Crushed it with a broken stapler right there. Nobody messes with my pets, nobody!
Then there comes the feeding part. With a bottle, you dumbass!
You can watch it in one of the videos below. Now, I was feeding Hob and noticed something poking out of his ass. On closer inspection, it turned out to be…potty. That idiot was pooping while he was eating…on me!
On top of this, Mr. Nob has a habit of holding the bottle with his paws while drinking. And he don’t give a shit if it’s my finger he’s got his nails clamped into.
Then there’s the chewing part. They don’t drink like real nice gentlemen, they have to frikkin chew on the goddamn bottle. I have to get them to be really hungry before feeding them so they don’t feel like wasting time on chewing.
Plus, Mr. Hob likes to suck Nob’s leg while sleeping!
And now, they both have eye infections. FML again!
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