Hoping to be human someday!

Shaadi: Life Ki Barbaadi!

Sunday, March 14th, 2010

Mom: ” I have decided that you will be married next year so if you like any girl, let me know by the end of this year. I have talked to your father and he has agreed.”

Preferred Response:

Me: “WHAT THE HELL?“

Actual Response:

Me: “No way! I ain’t getting married, not until I’m 28 at least!”

Mom: “Bakwaas band karo! You keep running after girls and yet you don’t wanna get married. Typical Gemini nature!” [This one is for you Absar! :P ]

Me: “So? I don’t wanna lose my freedom. If I get married next year then this year I’m having halwa-puri for breakfast and steak for dinner everyday!”

Mom: “Fuzool baatein na karo. Insaan ban jao ge tum shaadi ke baad, nikammay!”

Me: “Kar hi na loon main kaheen shaadi!”

Mom: “Shaadi to tumharay baap ne bhi ki thi!”

Me: “Un ki ghalti main kyun repeat karoon?”

Mom: “Aisa thappar paray ga seedhay ho jao ge!”

Me: “Thappar tab paray ga jab haath moon ki height tak pohanch paaye ga!”

Mom: “#@&*#@(!#@ !@^&#&!@#(&(*@&#&@”

14.03.2010 Humorous, Me, Women 26 Comments

The Game Of Words…

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Why do you say Allah Hafiz and not Khuda Hafiz?

P.S. Rasool-e-Ummi is no longer password protected.

29.01.2010 Reflections, Religious 9 Comments

Classic Snoots from Snooty

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for the one and only…SNOOTYYYY!!!


  • @anasimtiaz if mom saw me watching tv…she gona beat me up wid her jhotiyan
  • @anasimtiaz u dont know what jhootiyan is ?? shoes chapal bhoot foot wear
  • @senilius_110 @anasimtiaz do u ever read ma blog …. *naraz*
  • @Senilius_110 lolssssss koi nahi …..hayee agar kaal yahan din ko bijli chali jaye at wrk… ma boss would let me go home early… dua karo
  • @senilius_110 wthhhhh i stayed up till 3am wth wth :( maar kaahni hai?
  • @senilius_110 oh and yeh i am already naraz so u cant b naraz ….dats against da rule
  • @senilius_110 main lunch kar rahi hon …bilkol bhook nahi hai…tum kaah lo ;)
  • driving on an empty road is so much fun……vvveeeee am queen of da roadssssss
  • damnnnn i should’ve brought ma dslr :(
  • @senilius_110 jin kay sar par caaht aur pahon kay neechay zameen na ho wo ghar kahan say lain gay @qurrata
  • @senilius_110 qchi baat hai…i jst had to get dat out of a system ;)
  • damn i cant type
  • @senilius_110 wateve i said earlier dat stuff
  • why whole wrld is sad :S @hmkz_91 @anasimtiaz @senilius_110 @talhaz
  • its mid night and am burger king
  • there was nothing wrong wid wireless ….. it was turned off on ma laptop hehehehe
  • @Senilius_110 shukeriya ejaazat ka muahahahahahhahahaha lol
  • @Senilius_110 behtaa saab sohbat ka asaar hai… mera apna koi kamaal nahi ;)
  • lolsssss lecture suno lecture…. luk teacher is starin at u omg u r in troubleeee @hamnaahmed @anasimtiaz
  • mallu da blue eyes man omgggggggg no wayyy :O @senilius_110 @qurrata @hmkz_91 do something @senilius_110
  • @Senilius_110 u r soooooooooo slowwwww 10yrs later u came up wid “Hain” lol
  • @senilius_110 muje depression ho raha hai :(
  • hayyyeee o rabbaa
  • @hmkz_91 big fat jhooti
  • u know u r frm vancouver when u take an offense for being askd if u r frm toronto….
  • @atwixt dont tlk to me u dont exist LOLLLLL
  • @anasimtiaz omg r u ma twin r somthing :O @qurrata
  • @hmkz_91 u both r stupid
  • @anasimtiaz haayyee nahi u think i’m sell fish :( i jst want u get well soon so u can enjoy ur vacation by helpin wid guitar :p
  • @shezzzles wat if u hav mistaken me for someone :p or wat if u didnt …aab keyaa ho gaaa kuriyaaa ;) muahahaha
  • @anasimtiaz *smacking ma head* r u pretending to not know or ur lost ur memory wid ur bemaari
  • @absarshah that sounds so lik me…gentle, patient, content, sweet, amazing, wonderful, n religious too i guess am frm malaysia too…
  • @hmkz_91 u said u r in bed but u r on twitter =( i wanted to show u ma hot pink dress n makeup …. oh well ur loss *snooty*
  • u r were bzyy @qurrata and @hmkz_91 was lik i am in bed… well now i am in ma maassi walay huleya main …. :S
  • @anasimtiaz ma fingers r hurting… should i chop ‘em ?
  • @anasimtiaz yeh =( i know …. i am tryin to b old
  • nahiiiiiiii :( @anasimtiaz @senilius_110 i cant afford to brk da strings
  • @senilius_110 =( i am gareeb … dil na jalahoo mera… cant even think abt doin dat @anasimtiaz
  • @hmkz_91 kaam bahga karoo na budhii amaa
  • i feel blaaaaahhhhh:S
  • off to bed…… Allah meyan suba ankh kull jaheee :(
  • @absarshah kay taste ka tu pata tah esa hi hai mager @siras_ tum ko keya ho geya :O acha balah hota tah haye hayeee
  • @anasimtiaz gori as in horse :O wow i was wondering where u disappeared …. =( london chalay gay =(
  • yeh happy new year to u too…. see i do fikar for u :D now u owe me ;)
  • @Senilius_110 aaawwwwwww *behossh*
  • @AbsarShah dont pick on ma today … i am sneezing like 80 kmh and ma head spinnin in 360
  • @Senilius_110 OMG OMG sawjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj i had to tell u something ….. u r ma oldddd blog reader… i know u frm 2008
  • @hmkz_91 main b maroon gi …… ;)
  • @Saadie ma cat is fat…*snooty* doc said stop giving her candies so she is on diet these days … i make her run by runnin after her
  • @qurrata omggggg yesterday whole night i was sneezing o_O that means all ma brain cells died ???
  • @qurratA wats Food Basic godddd u spent $99.55 on FOOD :O *behossh*
  • @Senilius_110 change is gud chalgozayyyy
  • @qurratA WHERE IS HUDAAAAAA….answer me, dont be stupid
  • *smackin ma head* ma id is so hard even i forgot wen loggin in today
  • @hmkz_91 oh noooOOOOooOOOOoooOOOoooooOOOOoooooOOoo
  • THEY woke me up for mosque and made me get ready, put nice dress on, make, brand new ear rings and THEY forgot me home :(
  • I will never gona pakaho ur dimaag @hmkz_91 @qurrata @senilius_110 @absarshah @anasimtiaz



She’s gonna kill me now. Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihir rajeoun! :D

14.01.2010 Humorous, Women 37 Comments

Dinon Ki Khichri…

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

The following conversation took place on a Sunday.

Sher Ali: Aaj kya din hai?…*pause*… Aaj Peer (Monday) hai? Kal kya din tha?

Me: Aaj Peer hai, kal Jummayraat (Thursday) tha.

Sher Ali: Kal Jummayraat tha? Achha…*pause again*…nahin yaar, kal Jummayraat nahin tha. Kal Mangal (Tuesday) tha…nahin, kal Budh (Wednesday) tha…nahin nahin, kal Hafta (Saturday) tha!

Me: Haan…bilkul!

Long pause.

Sher Ali: Aaj Sunday hai!

Me: Nahiiinnnn yaaarrrr, sahi batao!

Sher Ali: Haan, aaj Sunday hai…*long pause*…kal Tuesday ho ga!

Me: ABE CHUP KAR NAMOONAY!

02.12.2009 Humorous, Me 25 Comments

Feeling Suicidal

Saturday, November 7th, 2009

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. – David Bissonette

***

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together. – Sacha Guitry

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By all means marry… If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. - Socrates

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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. – Anonymous

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The great question…. which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want? - Dumas

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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

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“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” - Anonymous

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“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” – Sam Kinison

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“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.” - James Holt McGavra

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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:

  • Whenever you’re wrong, admit it
  • Whenever you’re right, shut up.

- Patrick Murra

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The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once… – Nash

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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Anonymous

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. – Henny Youngman

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A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. – Rodney Dangerfield

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A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”.

Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

***

First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”

Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive..”

***

Credit goes to my uncle for sending these! :lol:

07.11.2009 Facts, Humorous, Quotes, Women 9 Comments

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