She knows now. We’re fine.
Won’t be talking for a while, need to get my head straightened out.
Cigs help. 
I asked my friend to come over last night to give me some company. Went out to distribute cards of his friend’s sister’s wedding, smoked four cigs in the span of an hour and then had a late night (after midnight) dinner at a local fast food restaurant. First full meal in days, had to force most of it down though. 
Got some ice-cream for my sister and then went back home.
Put on Pineapple Express. It’s a funny movie but didn’t enjoy it much.
We both went to the roof and I smoked three consecutive Dunhill Lights for the first time in my life. Usually, one is more than enough to make me go tuuunnnnn and three are more than enough to make me puke my insides out. But nothing happened last night.
Felt better, came down, finished the movie. Friend went back home, I went to sleep after four.
Woke up at ten, usual habit, but forced myself to go to sleep again. Woke up at noon and here I am.
Feeling better now, hope to go out today too.
Yet there’s a thread running in the background. Have to kill it. Where’s the goddamn Task Manager?
This is not me. I never friggin pictured myself this way!
For God’s sake, I…AM…SAWJ!
70 Responses
Stay in touch with the conversation, subscribe to the RSS feed for comments on this post.
Mubarak Mubarak, laddo laon
kidding mate but be it Lights or no Lights cigi alwayssssssssssss KILLS!!
and yeah quit off tht smoking or else ull die young
yaad rkhna ab say
and yeah ur Akismet is also after Nikki not just Anonymous
BAD BAD blog
I’ll quit after I get my head straight. It’s never been a problem of addiction for me yar, I have quit whenever I wanted too. It’s just that right now, they’re really helpful.
And the blog ain’t bad, it’s the Akismet plugin that blocks you. Something’s fishy about you!
SOMETHINGS..haha everything is fishy about me yaar. u didnt know m a MERMAID
hahahahahahaha 
See, you can’t really blame Akismet!
Smoking yourself out won’t solve anything.
i didn’t enjoy Pineapple Express either! its a crap movie!
btw you were complaining that cigarettes were creating problems for you while jogging and now you are bragging about it!
obviously jogging has been pushed out of the daily routine
It’s good I don’t know you in person!
I could tell you wrote that when you were high. I just lost an uncle (last month) due to lung cancer. So no wonder I’m surprised at how carelessly people continue to smoke and feel about smoking.
@PD: It has for the short term, I’ll quit don’t worry!
@Saad: I actually LIKE Pineapple Express. And yeah, cigs do but they take your mind off things too.
@Anas: LOL, yeah. Pray it comes back man.
@Siras: That hurt!
@Raza: My oldest taya died due to cancer man. I know how bad it is. It chars your lungs. But it’s something I have to do to get my mood up. Not temporary, I assure you.
No no, you misunderstand me. I meant I get violent with people who smoke
So, it’s good for you that i can’t beat you up.
acha tu mood bhai jaan aur bhe ccheesoun sy set wet zatack hoskta hai…for instance long drive, or ghazliyat-e-ghalib
or a chilled winter night with a chilly ice-cream cone. Or or or ab khud bhe kuch sochny wala kaam krlia karo….
Quit or no Quit Cigi remains the same. Chor do yaaaaaaaaar chor do abhe bhe time hai itna bhe kia gham hoga ke cigi sy nikaly
*silent* i don’t know what to say!
@Saira: Change in sentence => “That will hurt!”
And I’m a big guy, at least twice your size.
@Nikki: All these things can be done without using much of the mind, the rest will be free to think. Cig dimagh ko tunn kar deti hai!
@Ammar: I’ll talk to you later mate.
“hopes Benazir Bhutto goes to hell! “????
*beginning to hate u already*
Oh crap, I was about to propose to you!
Why?
i thought i mentioned i was “booked”
n what “why”?… as Muslims we r supposed to pray for the departed muslims, ever visited a graveyard?? we r supposed to greet them with “Aslamu Alaikum ya ahl e Qaboor”…we are not supposed to curse them….i m no PPP supporter but still i believe she has paid for her mistakes… now the matter is between her n our Creator…
Good you acted like a man but smoking? this is quite childish. Anyway you would feel better now. So she likes someone?
I think its good for you not to contact her anymore. If she is not selfish then she would try to get away from you to make you feel better. I agree with Hira S that contacting with her would keep you restless anyway.
By the way..was the age only issue between you two?
How do you know I’m not a pehlwaan?
i guess he was bragging abt his height…. if u r not that tall,tell him size is no guarantee of strength
…n if u r tall, then simply tell him ur height…..n just in case next threat of size comes my way, i m 5.9″ ….. n a pro at hand to hand combat thnx to my bro
@Pinky: She never paid for her mistakes, come on. We did!
@Noman: Nope, there was a sectarian conflict as well.
@Saira: Oh, I forgot you are from Lahore!
@Pinky: Girl, I trained my sister!
And you’re booked, oh crap!
“i tained my sister! “….so ???? u are still no match for me…i would pull ur long tresses frm ur very scalp n u would be begging for mercy every step of the way
“and you’re booked, oh crap!”…thank God for that….trust me, its blessing in disguise…. i might have turned u into a chain smoker
Yes! You should be scared!
@ Pinky: He’s already scared without having to tell him my height!
“i tained my sister! “….so ???? u are still no match for me…i would pull ur long tresses frm ur very scalp n u would be begging for mercy every step of the way
“and you’re booked, oh c—-!”…thank God for that….trust me, its a blessing in disguise…. i might have turned u into a chain smoker
thats great siras, aap ka naam he kafi hai… i guess its called “taika” in punjabi..
n sorry for duplication of msgz…first one was awaiting moderation so i thought maybe use of “crap” is the cause..so i posted the second one…me n my experiments
@Pinky: I don’t have long tresses anymore. And I’m already a chain smoker. Well, not exactly but almost.
@Saira: I ain’t scared of anything now. Not even my mom finding out I’m smoking.
@Pinky: I don’t have long tresses anymore. And I’m already a chain smoker. Well, not exactly but al—-.
@Pinky: What’s “taika”?
taika is sth like awe..dread mingled with respect….
too bad abt ur hair…i would have to bite u then…
hey loser, post a blog abt what would be ur course of action in the event of war with india…n ask the readers to come to specify their options too…….i m no warmonger,but fighter planes are flying over islamabad and that too at night
Yar that is Anas and Ammar’s job. I’ve quit political blogging. Haven’t even read the newspapers lately.
meri hasrat he rahe ge k kabhi meri koi baat maani jaye yahan
n that was NOT a poltical topic…kind of adventure really…i n my brother are ready with a killer plan to cross the border n do some real damage to the other side….but i m sorry that u r not interested *shrug*
anyway, visit safi’s blog, i have exacted revenge…at least i have sown the seeds…enjoy kiddo
I know I said you’ll emerge a stronger person, but that didn’t mean you stop being scared of your mom
Moms are dangerous people!
@Pinky: Naah, I’m not willing to fall into a fight right now.
@Saira: May Allah have mercy on your kids!
How did my kids come into the picture, I was talking about my mom! :p
Haw haw!!!
err .. I was gone for like few days and what happened to u :S
Don’t ask!
So did she die of shock or shame?
Oho, dekho to kaun aaya hai!
Nah, she’s an awesome friend, she actually got worried about me.
Welcome to the SAWJ Zone, Dolores!
Dolores as in Dolores umbridge? wow!! finally i found some potterheads in my age bracket….Glad to meet u freddie….
dude, ur ok right?
I wouldn’t have advised you to tell her, but i’m impressed that you did. that took guts.
things get better yaar. heartbreak and unrequited love are necessary to appreciate love that is returned. You’ll find the rightgirl and it’ll all seem like a silly phase.
And the in-between stage is a great time to get to know what you really want. My priorities have completely changed- i now realise that guy was the last thing i needed.
It’s cliched- but what doesn’t kill you does make you stronger.
@Pinky: Freddie? I’m honored although Dolores called me Peeves!
@Hira: I’m okay but I made a bad decision by telling her. She’s depressed now, crap!
at least she wanted u alive
i dint named u Fred only bcoz of ur self-proclaimed sense of humour, there was more sinister reason behind it….i think u have forgotten what eventually happened to him…khair after this i wont ask what u think of me, bound to be sth like luna or marietta (Cho’s friend)
I know, it would be cool to die like Fred!
You would be…Mrs. Weasley!
LOLZ…..6 bachay aur wo kharoos Mr weasley aur wo chhota ghar?…..suno plz Narcissa Malfoy he bana tho mujhe…aik baita boht hai chahay wo draco he ho…warna tumhari demotion ho jaye ge aur KREACHER bun jao gay
Okay how about Crabbe?
chalo g…first u got me married to that muggle-loving loser n now u have changed my gender altogether…i am ok with winky, tonks, Madam Rosmerta , pansy, neville’s dadi or any female teacher…..ur options include zacharias smith, goyle, lee jordan (for hairstyle, no Bill), Hagrid (for height), slughorn (for weight) and neville (for memory)
why is she depressed if she is already committed with someone?
@Pinky: Khwar aunty, kitna yaad hai tumhein!
@noman: About me man.
you want to say that it was not one-sided and just because she is elder and don’t follow your sect so she is depressed that she cant have you? something like that?
No dude, she was feeling bad because I was. Telling her was a big mistake I made.
no I asked whether it was one sided only or from both side? does she feel same about you?
One sided, I believe.
u shud confirm it dude. If she likes u too then atleast it wud give you feeling tht she also had same feeling but cant materialize it. right?
Kya faida? Even if she does, I won’t force her to tell me.
dil ko behlana ko ghalib ye kyal acha hay
bhai meray. she is depressed for heself. Hira S was right. she’s just showing sympathy for you because she is already committed with one. Most probably she likes that guy too so definitely your entry would have made her restless. Since you are a friend so she would be feeling bad that she can not give you anything in return.
bhai, move on. I personally think you did not do right by writing everything here on a public blog. It’s like making tamasha of everything. I think she would not be feeling good about this as well. what if the other guy reads everything? I think you should removed these posts.
best of luck and keep moving!
She’s better now. I never intended to make tamasha of anything, just wanted to get a huge load off my chest that was burying me. The other guy won’t read this. The only mistake I made was telling her about it man.
bhayi noman amin….
first u ask him loads of question…n sort of force him to confide in u…then u tell him k its not right to write everything on blog…i mean thora ziada nai ho gaya
aur wajahat jafri, uncle ho gay tum khud…u r atleast 3 months older than me
How did you know that?
loser, i m quite sure i am 22, n i have a pretty shrewd idea abt my date of birth…n since u r 22 and a gemini, so as per my brand of logic, it automatically follows that u ARE around 3 months older than me……i know what u would say ,”STALKER”
Oh no, I’ll say “Khwaar!”
ye hota kia hai, sounds like a gaali to me….jo bhi hai tum khud ho gay
Khwaar means “ziyada tension lenay wala” in your case.
@Pinky eh I did not force him. Did I? He himself revealed everything in form of blog posts :-). Ab he’s not a kid!
i must be getting blind in my old age….i thought i saw at least one question in ur every msg…so i thought u were interviewing him…sorry, my bad….but lets just bury the matter, i dont think he likes constant reminder of that episode
tata
Easier said than done.
Abhee quit kerna acha hai, agay ja ker it will get very hard.
Turst me. I have seen people. they regret what they have done.
Sure, yeah.
Continuing the Discussion