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Another Tax, And Some Socrates…

A judge charged a man with a Rs 10,800 fine in a rape case.

The man asked, “Why Rs 10,800?”

The judge replied, “Rs 10,000 for rape and 8% Entertainment Tax by Zardari.”

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In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?”

“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied. “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Test of Three.”

“Test of Three?”

“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my student let’s take a moment to test what you’re going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about It.”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him even though you’re not certain it’s true?”

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. “You may still pass though, because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?”

The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains “why he never found out that his wife was regularly having Sex with his student Plato.”

Posted in General Knowledge, History, Humorous, Pakistan, Political, Reflections, Women, World. Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Two Questions

Err…log meri kaafi waat laga rahay hain kuch na likhnay per so I thought kuch to likh doon.

Two questions:

1) Woh kya hai jo Allah mian nahin dekh saktay per insaan dekh leta hai?

2) Woh kya cheez hai jisay aagay se Allah mian ne banaya hai aur peechhay se insaan ne?

NOTE: Pachaas comment maro tab answer bataoon ga!

Posted in Facts, General Knowledge, Religious. Tagged with , , , , .

Tested Failure

I was chatting with Huda this morning. We were talking about studies and I proudly recounted the number of times I have failed in tests. And as I’ve not been writing anything here, I thought I’d do a little post on this topic to make you all…err…happy?

  • I failed in my first ever test: Urdu in class 1.
  • Then I failed in my Physics monthly test in Matric.
  • I failed in the first Physics and Urdu bimonthlies in first year.
  • I failed in the Islamiat second bimonthly, two months later. The teacher made me take a resit and I failed that too.
  • I failed in Electronics-I, third semester.
  • I failed in Electromagnetic Compatibility & Interference, last semester.

As you can see, I believe in: “If at first you don’t succeed, go watch a movie! Studies are not worth it.”

I’m not ashamed of my achievements. Rather, I’m quite proud of the first one.

I was in class 1 and about 4 or 5 at that time. My mother made me prepare for the test but what she forgot to tell me was what happens in a test and what the hell a test is.

So the teacher came in, handed out sheets to us and went to write questions on the board. I being an obedient kid at that time quietly copied the questions, put the sheet in my bag and…

“Ammi, main ghar aa gayaaaa….”

…BERA GHARQ!

Dumbass kid!

Posted in Facts, Humorous, Me. Tagged with , .

Nostalgia

I was going through my archives and I realized I’ve put up some good stuff here.

Khair, I’ve not been in a blogging mood for quite some time. Doesn’t carry the same feel anymore. So I’m posting an old post, a tag that I did on Nov 4, 2007 when this blog was only three months old. This tag though, does not depict the me of today.

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Tagged by: Absar Shah

1.Name one person that made you laugh last night?
Me

2.What are you doing at 8:00?
In the morning: Waking up. In the evening: Sitting on my computer or watching TV. Last night: Enjoying emergency and Iftikhar Chauhdary’s removal.

3.What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Watching TV.

4. What happened to you in 2006?
I graduated. I became the Internet Director of the IEEE PNEC Chapter and designed it’s website. I also designed a website for the IEEE Computer Society’s CHC60 Competition but lost. It was a group activity and the idiot who has tagged me was a part of it but showed his big, black backside in the end.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
“Stop hitting me”, to my little cousin.

6. How many beverages did you have today?
Pepsi at MacDonald’s.

7. What color is your hairbrush?
Red and white.

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
Meal at MacDonald’s.

9. Where were you last night?
Home, wasting time.

10. What color is your front door?
Brown.

12. What’s the weather like today?
Hot during day. Cold at night.

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
Walls’ Mango!

14. What excites you?
Programming, among “other” things…

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
No way! I’m planning on missing my convocation because I don’t want to.

16. Are you over the age of 25?
No.

17. Do you talk a lot?
When I’m in the mood to crack stupid jokes.

18. Do you watch the O.C.?
No.

9. Do you know anyone named Steven?
No.

20. Do you make up your own words?
Yes.

21. Are you a jealous person?
Sometimes.

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’:
The idiot who tagged me.

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’:
Kathawala…last name.

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
Amma.

25. What does the last text message you received say?
“Just, go to my blog :P”

26. Do you chew on your straw?
Only when I’m hungry and have nothing else to do.

27. Do you have curly hair?
No, thank god!

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
Bathroom.

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
Me.

30. What was the last thing you ate?
Mausambi.

31. Will you get married in the future?
Why wouldn’t I?

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
Wild Hogs.

4. When was the last time you did the dishes?
Somewhere between ‘after Eid’ and today.

35. Are you currently depressed?
Not at the moment.

36. Did you cry today?
My life’s not that bad!

Posted in Me. Tagged with , .

The Tale Of The Burning Door

Someone slammed his hands on the closed door.

She asked her maid to go check who it was. Soon the maid came back in a hurry and told her there was a large crowd asking for her husband to be sent outside.

She went to the door herself and called out loud, “What do you want?”

The man standing on the other side barked, “Send your husband out!”

“He will not come out. I’ve made him swear not to fight.”

“If he doesn’t come out, we’ll set fire to the house.”

“Set fire to the house? Don’t you know who lives in this house?”

“We don’t care.”

“Don’t you know whose children live in this house?”

“We don’t care whose children! Send your husband out or we’ll set fire to it!”

“My husband will not come outside!”

There was some noise as the men gathered wood outside the door and set fire to it. The door started to burn. Then the man kicked the door on to her.

Not letting his foot get off, he pressed the burning door on to her until she was trapped between it and the wall directly behind it. She cried out loud as her ribs fractured from the impact.

She called out to her maid, “Come quick, the child in my womb has been killed!”

She fell to the floor and the door fell on top of her. Her two sons and two daughters rushed to help her. The sons tried to lift the burning door off her while the daughters tried to pull her out from under.

Meanwhile, the six men outside had rushed into the house with a large crowd behind them, brandishing naked swords and canes, and surrounded her husband. She got up and rushed to her husband and grabbed him by the waist. The swords and canes that had gone up in the air to be brought down on her husband, landed on her. She fell to the ground while the men flung a rope around her husband’s neck and dragged him outside.

Slowly she got up, came out into the courtyard, uncovered her head, looked up at the sky and started cursing the attackers.

Her husband quickly motioned to his friend to stop her. The friend rushed towards the house, bent at the doorstep, kissed it and called out, “My Lady! Your husband calls for you to stop otherwise there won’t be anyone left to take your father’s name after today!”

She paused, then covered her head again. She succumbed to her wounds three months later, at the age of almost 18 years.

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O’ Father! After your death, so much grief was made to befall me that had it befallen a day, it would’ve turned into a dark  night…

Posted in Uncategorized.